Keeping Busy

(by Maria Godsey)

I just looked to see when my last entry was and it has been awhile… oops! I planned on posting more regularly, but days and weeks seem to keep slipping by. The partner events and outings have slowed a bit, but I still find myself with so much to do! But I'm not complaining… I actually enjoy all the activity.

So what are some of the things Noah and I are doing to keep busy? We have our standing weekly activities, french class for beginners, sewing class, cooking class, fitness class, PDE sessions... but beyond that, this month started off a bit crazy for me as Noah's 1st birthday party was around the corner. I really wanted it to be special. With that, I put a lot of pressure on myself. I had an image of a big birthday bash with lots of decorations and accessories and took to the web to start shopping. What I quickly realized is that shipping is outrageous to Switzerland, Switzerland doesn't even have an Amazon site, most eBay items are shipped from outside of Switzerland and I needed to compromise. In the end, the party was great and it was really special to spend it with the other partners and their little ones.

Last week we celebrated 'burning of winter'. What is this you ask? I'm not 100% sure, but basically the kids from the local daycares and schools dress-up and march through the streets with a large item that they burn in the near-by Parc de Milan. Since it was Forest week last week, the kids dressed as dwarfs. It really was a blast to participate in this… from making the dwarf costume, marching along the streets, watching the large watermelon go up in flames to later enjoying bread and chocolate in the park. But I think the best part was how cute all the kids looked… especially the IMD babies!! :) Thanks, Marcella, for making us aware of these fun activities!!

This month, we also squeezed in two family trips. The first to the Lausanne Photo Museum and the second across the lake to attend a Bordeaux wine tasting event in France. Both trips were very special, although the wine tasting event sticks out in my mind more. I think the fantastic Bordeaux wine I'm drinking now as I write this entry also helps in keeping the memory fresh. :) I'm just thankful that we took the time to do these small outings together as a family, despite the heavy IMD workload. It is this time that we spend together that keeps us connected and builds wonderful memories of the year.

So the end of March is here and so is exam time for the students. This coming weekend is reserved for exam preparations and the following week are exams. I had hoped to travel with Noah back to Germany to give Joseph all the time he needed to study, but my procrastination resulted in higher ticket prices and us now staying put. Hopefully it will turn out to be a positive thing in the end. I'm sure Noah's smile will give Joseph an energy boost when he needs it. :)

Speaking of ticket prices, tomorrow I hope to finalize my itinerary and purchase our tickets for summer break. I also procrastinated on this and will pay slightly higher prices. (I think I've learned my lesson now!) Friendly advice to the 2012 partners: Book your spring break and summer break tickets EARLY!!!!!

I guess that it for now… Happy Spring everyone!!

St. Patrick's Day in Lausanne and DC - and where next year?

St. Patrick’s Day in Washington D.C.: basically the same as in any other corner of the world, people dressed mostly in green with some orange, wearing ridiculous hats and getting wasted. What struck me was that even the water of the fountain in front of the White House was green yesterday – a reference to Obama’s Irish family connections.

Was there a St. Patrick’s Day party at IMD? Under normal circumstances I would not hesitate a second to bet 100 Euros that Eoin organized something. But given the current workload in Lausanne, I’m not even sure about this. Nor do I know where Kamini and I will be for St. Patrick’s Day in a year’s time. The world is open after the MBA (that’s what we all hope in any case), and the next months will be about figuring out where Kamini’s post-MBA job will lead her/ me/ us: a challenge for us as for every MBA couple to get all the relevant factors in balance. One thing is for sure though: There will be Guinness and corned beef and people wearing ridiculous hats getting wasted on 17^th March.

I am in the midst of my US trip. After some days in New York and a short visit to friends in Boston I’m now in Washington D.C., and weather is just fantastic: T-shirt weather above 20 degrees! The main reason I am here is that I take part in a one week programme in US foreign policy and international relations at Georgetown University, called the Georgetown Leadership Seminar. It’s my personal mini MBA - not in terms of learning about marketing, accounting and finance (thank God…), but in terms of diversity and personal development: 32 participants from 25 countries from all continents; entrepreneurs, business leaders, journalists, filmmakers, politicians, diplomats, consultants, people from NGOs, from international organisations and military, and even fully fledged MBAs are in the group. Yes, I am showing off here, and yes, this is a way of keeping pace with Kamini doing an exciting programme ;-)

For me, participating in this seminar is an opportunity to look beyond the Brussels EU bubble of which I have been a part for ten years. It is an opportunity to see new horizons beyond Europe and exchange with interesting people from around the world. I feel privileged and am very much looking forward to the week – a week away from the normal routine. In order not to lose momentum of my PDE, I scheduled a Skype session for Sunday morning – and I look forward to it!

One last comment on the USA (it's only my third time in the States) – the paradise of service culture, as I thought. I was quite surprised to learn that the quality of the AT&T network is pretty poor, mobile data plans are extremely limited in volume, and it took my friends in Boston three weeks to get a new stove delivered by Sears. Now they have two stoves none of which is working, as the guys who delivered the new one were not able to disconnect the old one. Such an experience reminded me of how things go in Belgium…

But now I need to get out into the sunshine. I will write about my seminar, and will make an effort to blog more regularly again. And I look forward to seeing you guys in Lausanne on 9/10 April. Tahira, it’s about time we meet in person ;-)

Spring is here- and so is the frightening month of March...

I am angry! I am flustered. I am so many things- Libya and the assassination of Shahbaz Bhatti; the horrible post-tsunami conditions in Japan; the appalling situation in Bahrain. My prayers going out to them all. But maybe I'll save lamenting over all those issues for another time. 

Today- I'll nag about other things... 

Its one of those days when the only thing keeping me from falling dead asleep is- food! I will hate this day tomorrow. I've probably eaten enough for all of Europe and I'm still craving for something. No, no! Nothing baking in my anatomical oven. I wish the mixture of the stuff I've ingested has some sort of a laxative effect and slips out of my body, but knowing that I will probably hibernate for the next 12 hours once the eye lids meet, it wouldn't be a very smart idea to wish that. 

Oh well... apparently my last blog post raised some eyebrows- in a not so pleasant way. It leaves me rather head scratching (and subsequently, dandruff scraping) but I do believe that every form of art fights the noose of verbal description, incorrect interpretations and misunderstandings; and writing (to me) is nothing short of art; and I'll leave it at that instead of trying to clarify my view point. 

Moving on... It was such a beautiful day today. Yes, yes- Spring is around the corner. And if this is what it is supposed to look like then I want to spend every waking minute outside, by the lake. 

We've had two much awaited birthday celebrations. Daantje turned 2 & Noah turned 1. Both birthday parties were much fun. I'm sharing some pictures with you.

 

And as the 2011 group, we have emerged successfully from the first installment of the infamous 48-hour-integrative exercise. Of course partners devised various ways of keeping themselves occupied while the MBA's were tearing their hair out in their race against time and fight against insanity. 

All I wish for is that I be granted a little heads-up on whether there will be dinner available at such occasions. Because I had Faisal call in and ask me to leave him food- which I had to do while juggling with my favorite hobby- babysitting Jose, only to find out that a lavish buffet was being put up to entertain the MBAs gastronomic demands while teasing ours (yet again). 

Speaking of, God please let Faisal like what I cooked today. All that time I put into it while trying to finalize the Bollywood Dance routine for tomorrow (we're working on Kajra Re) and wrapping up all that paper work that Canada needs from us before it grants us the go ahead to move into the civilized part of the world- and of course there's that trip that I need to make to Orange, which the half-wit in me did while they were closed! 

Let me warn you today: the Orange service is not for the faint-hearted. 

Half the month their signals don't work and instead, their clueless customers are often interacting with each other on the far stronger signal from France (just across the lake). But a monthly bill with these apparent "roaming calls" will arrive in the mailbox rather promptly!  And you'll be surprised to observe how efficient their accounts department is with all those follow-up calls. Gives you the feeling that either they have too much time on their hands or you're the only shameless customer on their list who hasn't paid up. 

And I know, no matter how I plead my case, in the end I will have to foot the entire bill. No concessions. 

And then there's laundry day tomorrow- sigh... every single time I use the darn machine I find myself on my knees begging to some invisible entity to let my clothes out in a decent, wearable condition, promising that I will never ever experiment with the Swiss washing machine again. 

And yet again, I find myself giving everything the benefit of doubt; the washing machine and my cretin of a brain. The pitfalls of optimism! 

And recently (I haven't told my husband yet, whose screaming upon this discovery will be audible all across the land) I have been sensing *gulp* a little "irritation" in one of my molars. God please! Transfer all my dental problems until next year when we have dental cover, Amen. You see, I'm a little short on cash and as it is I'm still trying to get through the year with the risk of not having paid the "billag" and of wondering how to maximize the 150 francs I spent on the half-fare card- the last thing I need is some dental problem to creep up during this year of student misery. 

In lieu of the half fare card, I don't plan on getting myself a 20 Franc student card, so please don't show me any mouth-watering, wail-inducing rebate later that I can benefit from only upon being able to demonstrate my possession of a student card. 

Moving on, it's March and the pace has seriously picked up. The MBA's have a lot on their minds.......... and then they have miserable partners to deal with. 

Many frustrated emotions have crept to the surface, some are slowly boiling in this reservoir of resentment looking for an excuse to erupt... God be with those who haven't dealt with that yet! 

True, the MBA's have a lot to handle. First the lengthy classes and industrial amounts of homework and assignments, then there's the general reading and dealing with various groups and the clash of views and emotions that come with it. 

But it's no piece of cake for us Partners.

In all honesty I didn't think it would be that hard. And while the administration at IMD is consciously making the effort to engage us into something to keep our minds off of absent spouses/ MBA partners, it has only gradually dawned upon me why this is so important. The MBAs might find it hard to believe but we face our fair share of troubles too... 

We deal with our MBA partners being away; of not being appreciated enough, neglect, misconstruing certain behaviours that perpetuate the growing resentment; of the feeling of having nothing meaningful to do; of dealing with other partners and subsequent comparisons and that overflow of estrogen; dealing with the clash of cultures, language barriers, inability to relate; of missing home; juggling with parenthood on your own; financial constraints (goodness lord, let's not even go there); an unpredictable future (another super touchy subject). 

Of being at home, which is not really home.

And we also deal with that dangerous MBA gap that widens every day- where the MBA partner is growing by leaps and bounds while you're pretty much stuck in this routine; both moving in opposite directions at a different pace. And then there are those who are holding onto each other through this commotion via a very fragile thread called "long-distance"; I don't even want to begin to imagine what they have to put through. 

And then we wait all day for our MBA's to come home, so that we can vent and that's not possible because you, the MBA, are busy and you are tired or you are so engrossed in the MBA world that you just cannot be bothered by mind-numbing harangues on what we endure. It may seem trivial and silly and pointless, but there are issues that no amount of new friendships can cure- some concerns only a partner can help assuage; something just a little time out for communication can resolve. 

And that's all we need sometimes. 

I know all those psychotherapists think along those lines and encourage you in that grave, dry, "psychotherapist" tone to "COMMUNICATE". But I'm not saying it in that tone- I am saying this as a matter of fact. 

And I know that's what there isn't any time for. But to make this work a conscious effort is to be to take some time out in the entire week and iron out issues that are pricking a relationship like invisible thorns before it blows out of proportion. No one's casting a judgement on the strength of a relationship but even a titanium chain is only as strong as its weakest link. There's no need to test a relationship when both parties have such a lot on their plate already. 

I do not mean to state that the MBA's have a walk in the park, but I believe there is a sensitivity chip that's missing. Treat it like you would be trained to treat a high profile customer; sometimes just replying to a missed call, or a simple text message can help. I know every relationship has a background of its own and its own way to squeeze out of tight spots, but some basic codes work well for all. 

Take some time out for a walk, have a big breakfast on the weekend, watch a movie- See, Faisal lapped up those pancakes like a starving lion.

And as I type all this away, it scares me when I ruminate (yes, cow-like; comme une lavache) about what lies ahead. I'm spewing all this "make-it-work" jargon only because Faisal's efforts to compensate for him being uncaring, neglecting, unappreciative and unloving and everything mean have worked (for now). Sometimes the only thing that tugs at me when I've finalized that I just must walk out on him- be it to the end of the building to make myself feel important *sheepish smile as I admit how stupid I look*- is the thought of my overworked bitter half not waking up on time for his class and walking to campus in a stinky pair of socks!

Jokes apart, no one said this journey was going to be easy and it was a "joint" decision at the end of the day.. And although there are times when I feel all those miserable things above and everything seems to have gone dark and nothing can pull me out of the misery I find myself sinking in..... 

........ a trip to Callier by a generous set of friends, who bring you back some amazing chocolate (Love you Alison and Iye) or having Sevara as your neighbour who will make you delicious chocolate crepes can make it jusssssssssst right!  

Really- all that diet and drooling over the swiss average size (0.01)- chuck it in the bin!

Some chocolate a day, shoos the stress away! (;

Until my next post, A bientot (I hope that's correct)

Part I: The first three months -

I am Marcella (the one in purple), MBA Partner Coordinator.

I was an MBA partner myself and have lived to tell the tale. I am now ‘on the other side’, part of the MBA office team (in the photo) in charge of welcoming the partners of our MBAs, helping them feel at home and create their own partner community.

Part I: The first three months -
It’s the beginning of March and everyone has more or less found their rhythm, both on the MBA side and the partner side. The MBA’s are in full swing of things - the pressure cooker has started to do its job and they have started to look a bit haggard, their clothes less pristine and the bags under their eyes darker than before... all is as it should be. Partners have also settled in by now, found their new bearings, have connected with each other thanks to FB and the activities we put in place at the beginning of the year and hopefully have all come out of the tunnel of the various seasonal illnesses. Thank god spring is arriving soon!

This is actually my 6th March as Partner Coordinator, and I have now started seeing some patterns emerge from year to year. Each January I start with an Excel list of names, addresses, birth dates and countries of origins. Apart from a few enthusiasts who cannot wait to know what awaits them in Lausanne, who with the help of FB have started connecting (and then only in the last 2 years really), I don’t really know what my ‘partner class’ will look like until the first few days during the various orientation sessions.
This is what I found this year: 58 partners in total, 21 kids ranging from only a few weeks old to 3yrs – 29 partners living in Lausanne with a few others joining us at various intervals. We’ve also already welcomed 3 IMD babies and are still waiting for a couple more to be born - plus a few more partners will join us at a later date. Totally different from last year when we had 54 partners, 32 kids (yes you read correctly) with most families living here in Lausanne.
Yet despite the fact that there always partners who want to learn French, partners looking for work, partners travelling, parent partners, weekend partners, short and long distance partners, male and female partners, stressed out partners, zen partners, active partners and so on, like a recipe, if you change the proportions of your ingredients your cake can turn out tasting differently each time - and so it is. Each partner class has its own identity, its own special mix, its own special recipe - and each time I take a bite it’s a totally new experience, discovering flavours I have never tasted before! (Excuse the metaphor, but as you have been reading, food is a constant theme here…).

But then it’s not just about the proportions - it is of course the ingredients themselves. Sometimes it’s in the flour, brown/rice/self-raising, or in the size of the eggs, or depending on what sugar you use: raw, white or honey, whether you use flavourings or essences, nuts or raisins and so on. Or in the cooking – slow baking, pre heated oven, fried, cooled, etc
It’s still early days of course and I am slowly getting to know the partners as individuals, but already their personalities, their skills, their backgrounds, their experiences, their ages, their resources, their interests, their strengths and also their weaknesses, their optimism and also their pessimism, their highs and their lows, their opinions, and so forth, have started to mix into something special which by the end of the year I am sure is going to be one delicious cake!

And I look forward to seeing it mix, rise, cook and in the end taste it with gusto – after all, it’s no secret, I do love my sweets - :0)

Until next time Marcella

March is here...

(by Maria Godsey)

Can you believe it is March already?!? Time is flying by! The students are head deep in work and us partners are keeping busy. I started the week count at the beginning of this blog and we are now at Week 8…. only 38 more weeks until graduation!

Tahira mentioned the PDE in her last posting and I thought I would very briefly explain what it is. PDE stands for Personal Development Elective and is something offered to all students. This year the partners are also able to participate, although next year's partner group may have a different offering. So the PDE is just that, it's personal and individual, for our own development in whatever area we want, and an elective (not mandatory). We are basically given 20 hrs with a trained psychoanalyst to discuss and work on whatever we want. I started mine last week and have already felt the benefits! IMD continues to impress me with the attention and care they give to us partners. We are not the students, but they still offer us monthly lunches, attendance to some of the speaker events and classes, cultural awareness sessions, PDE, part-time staff member (our wonderful Marcella!).. oh, and did I mention free babysitting for some of the sessions?!?

Yesterday we had a potluck lunch in our partner room (one of the rooms specifically dedicated to us filled with books, toys, brochures and all sorts of goodies.) We had such an amazing turnout and a wonderful spread of food. Another one of the many benefits of being an IMD partner… tasting wonderful dishes from all around the world! From quiche to egg curry, we all were stuffed after lunch! Here is a group photo of us before we started out meal. Thank you Shuvra for organizing this wonderful event!

Every first Saturday of the month, many of the Lausanne museums offer free entrance. This month, the group has planned to visit the Museum of Photography. We've heard a lot of great things about this museum and I'm really exciting about visiting it.

Lastly, March is the month of birthdays for the IMD babies. Daantje, Marieke's baby girl, and my Noah will celebrate their birthday this month. Daantje turns two and Noah will be one. If looking at the calendar isn't enough to remind us how fast this year is flying, seeing the changes in all the IMD babies is a constant reminder!

Until my next posting…

A Muslim in Lausanne

Its been a while... and although we settled on trying to fill in once a week blog-wise, I always knew that it would only happen when my head allowed it. I need the words to flow from my fingers- I can't fake it with writing. It just doesn't happen. So apologies to my (rather shy, seemingly non-existent) fans on that front :P 

So far we've been busy getting our PDE sessions sorted out. It can be emotionally taxing having to expose oneself and talk about issues just to get a feeler of how a potential counselor would be like. And still not being able to decide. My knack for being a champion at indecisiveness is obviously an added handicap.

Although something miraculous has happened in the past few weeks. The Egyptian Revolution. I cannot stress enough on how lucky I feel that I am part of a generation where we envisioned a revolution through the Internet- Facebook to be precise. No, no tanks, no atomic bombs, no war sirens- just plain power of a social networking website. How did I live without the internet for 15 years of my life, I have no clue! 

Personally, I believe that the Egyptians should send Jessica Albright a stack of flowers and a huge thank you note- If it hadn't been for her dumping Mister Zuckerberg, godknowswhat it would have taken for him to muster the kind of madness mixed with anger and the right amount of vengeance to "come up" with Facebook. 

Unfortunately of course, as for the dream we witnessed come to life in Tunisia and Egypt, the nightmare version can currently be seen taking place in Libya (and Iran and Oman).

Of course, times like these further expose the magnitude to which the UN is crippled; the magnitude of US hypocrisy. But my prayers go out to all those fighting against these tyrannical regimes. I was particularly touched by a photographic exhibit that showed a group of Egyptian Muslims praying during a protest.There was this human wall erected by the Egyptian Christians around them to prevent them from being harmed by Mubarak's army while they were immersed in prayer. 

 

It is incredible what this power can do- when this need for reforms, for justice, for equality and the will to live decent lives rises in a people collectively.

My only hope is that they continue in this fervour and not stand like clueless zombies once they've toppled these atrocious governments. Hopefully, once Pakistan is done being distracted by the World cup (Cricket), the youth will make as inspirational a stand against the dynastic politics and military dictatorship that has plagued the nation ever since it came into existence. 

Moving onto more IMD based things, it snowed the other day quite unexpectedly. So beautiful! And I was to deliver a talk on being a Muslim as part of our Thursday get together ritual, called the Tea & Talk. 

Only upon arriving in Switzerland and having recently undergone the transition of becoming a committed Hijaabi (so far, so good) have I realized how I took my life in the UAE & KSA & Pakistan for granted. For those who don't know Hijaabi = Headscarf.

It's not that I am outrightly unwelcomed here- but the bias exists. You can clearly see the impact of Islamophobia and sometimes are even disappointed how educated and apparently "tolerant" people are in fact xenophobic. The lack of minarets on the Mosques while the Church towers stand proud; the scarce availability & meager variety of Halaal food and difficulty of taking Fridays off for worship; the need to gain people's trust but hurling knee slappers like "my middle name is not Miss Kaboom"; the need to make a conscious effort to let the world know that I am a normal human being, that Faisal WISHES he had it in him to force me into wearing a Hijaab- it was entirely MY decision; that I too worry about looking fat, enjoy shopping & sports & travelling and am just about every bit obsessive compulsive about various things in life like every other woman is; that I am every bit independent and liberated as they are.

It is undoubtedly a struggle being a practicing Muslim in this part of the world. Even the local Muslim community as a whole seems rather cold and reserved- almost scared- trying their best to keep under the radar, maintaining a low profile. Unfortunately, its not as accommodating as I hoped it would be. Even at the IMD Restaurant, Halaal food graces the place with its delicious presence only once a week; but that works out just fine since the mouth-watering desserts (sans alcohol and gelatin- YAY!!) tend to make themselves quite at home on one's hips bringing about an unflattering increase in one's physical dimensions and therefore, we can do without the comfort of having both; the desserts AND full meals. So no complains there from my end at least! 

And then there's the prayer bit- considering how the mosques around the place are only handful in number, it can be quite a daunting task looking for a place to pray when time's running out and you're miles away from home and walking into the dressing room of a Mall is an unlikely option- and that's when you turn to your last resort- pull out the prayer mat and go public!

But then you meet people who are genuinely interested in knowing what it is to be a Muslim; who want to know why I have my hair all wrapped up and why I don't enjoy the many "benefits" of alcohol; who want to help me be a Muslim just because there is such a thing as "nice people and good hearts". It's refreshing to conduct such Q&A sessions with people who are genuinely curious- pondering over the answers to some questions have helped me delve deeper into my faith as a Muslim. 

Note: For those who would still like to know more, I am no expert, but I would be more than happy to clear your doubts. So feel free to talk to me about Islam. 

And in light of this, I have to share some amazing incidents with you that have given me the courage I needed and helped me carve a space of my own, be comfortable, gel with others, without having to lose my identity. How this helping hand extended by some of the members of the partner community has touched me so deeply, perhaps more so because I am not just any minority- I am a very obvious, resplendent and in-your-face minority! As my husband states, I might as well be carrying a Pirate flag or a bazooka considering the amount of attention this headscarf of mine garners. 

Sometimes its difficult to voice these concerns- not just because I don't want to be given that look, the one that says "WTH-You-from-Mars-or-something?" but also because I become overly conscious about looking like a friggin' spoil sport- about messing up a perfect day by bringing in these rigid needs and religious requirements that I have to adhere to! 

but it becomes easier...

When Diana knows that I cannot participate in a group exercise where we have to integrate on a physical level (even though extremely minimal like holding hands) with the opposite sex. It was only about a week into the program and for someone who had no clue about what it is to be a Muslim woman, Diana's insight left me rather numb with shock and deeply indebted, with truckloads of appreciation pouring out. 

When Iyerida goes around looking for Halaal joints to purchase meat that I too can enjoy, as she plays Chef!

When Magi signals to me the arrival of men at the IMD gym and I run for cover.

When Iye brings me water because the men have hogged the water dispenser and I'm too worked up to put on all my gear before I can make my way towards the dispenser.

When Shuvra jumps to my assistance (although I take her affinity with the Muslim community for granted sometimes) in helping me locate my directions for prayers (we look for South east out here in Switzerland)

When Marieke understands that I cannot put up my Hijaab-less pictures as other male onlookers pass by, and requests me to show them to her another time.

When I am being told that having this daily religious routine is inspirational, despite the differences in faith. 

When various partners (the list is endless) give me the room and comfort to pray; in their homes or even outside on the streets, keeping a watch on any onlookers who find the activity rather entertaining and often pull out their cameras to capture on photographic memory this outrageous sight of a woman kneeling in broad daylight! 

And for Marcella; Thank you God for Marcella! For so many reasons that one would need another blog just for that theme! 

One realizes that pure goodness of the heart extends far beyond religious preachings. So, thank you all for your open mindedness, tolerance and being so adaptable.

Assimilation is not just about being part of this homogeneous mix; of being mixed into one compound; No! 

It's about helping every individual be part of that mix without losing one's original identity. It's about letting everyone be who they are without compelling them to mould into something they are not, just to fit in. It's not just about adaptability; it's also about being receptive to the inherent differences that every culture, religion, upbringing, even individual brings with him/herself and accepting it for what it is. 

And yes, it does look like a long, arduous road ahead, but thanks to the open mindedness displayed by so many partners, it makes the journey easier with one less hurdle to tackle!