Guest Post: From Belgium to Lausanne by Amélie van der Aa

Hi, I’m Amélie, mother of a lovely 21 month old daughter named Nell and mother to be of another girl in a few weeks. I’m Belgian, supporting my Belgian husband Jonathan, whom I’ve met 15 years ago (no no, I’m not that old) in Belgium. I specify this, because this makes us one of the most unique IMD couples, as most partners are from country X, have married a guy or girl from country Y, whom they’ve met in country Z.

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Believe it or not, but this blog post has been on my to-do list since February. Am I lazy, or have I been suffering from a writers block? None of the above. The truth is, this year might have been the busiest of my life. 



Let me take you back to a bit more than a year ago. The day that Jonathan came home all excited, not only because he got into IMD, but because he had spoken to an ex-IMD candidate who had told him the “exciting” truth about day-to-day (and night-to-night) life at IMD during the first 6 months. All I could hear was “military camp”, “nap room”, “night work”, “no spare time at all”, let alone “time for your kids and family”. I told Jonathan that in this case I was wondering why we would join him to Lausanne. Silence…  a shocked husband was looking at me realizing that there could have been a better way to prepare me for the IMD reality.

But in the end, we actually took the decision to cut the year in half. I would spend the first 6 months in Belgium, keep my job, leave Nell at daycare, and be surrounded by my network of friends and family who were all willing to help a single mom survive on her own. Every 2-3 weeks we flew to Lausanne to spend some time (or shall I say “hours”) with Jonathan. And apart from that, Skype became our best friend and well, we just both wrestled through these 6 months, keeping our eyes firmly on the finish line in June.

I ain’t gonna lie. It was tough. We really missed each other, we have both cursed Skype, I have literally cried carrying Nell in and out of the plane, being nauseous from my second pregnancy. I have been quite frustrated when spending weekends in Lausanne, cleaning the apartment, ironing hubby’s shirts and not seeing him as much as I’d hoped. But in the end, all this made us stronger as a couple and made the start of the second part (June-Dec) so much sweeter…

Now I am enjoying all this free time with Nell, this “normal” family time with Jonathan, our interesting discussions in the tiny kitchen and most of all, meeting all these amazing other ladies (and men), who are all so strong and trying to keep up the positive spirit throughout this strange year.

Let me conclude by giving some tips for future partners who decide to join their student later during the year:

1. I strongly advise to take one month off at the start of the year. That way you can settle in and arrange the apartment together with your partner, and most importantly, get to know the other partners. Believe me, you will feel less alone when you are in Lausanne on the weekends.

2. Try to attend at least one partner activity each time you’re visiting Lausanne. It will make it easier to integrate when you move to Lausanne in Summer.

3. Keep telling yourself that being in Lausanne with your husband would be equally or even more frustrating than being in your home country, surrounded by friends and family.

4. And this is my tip for any partner: don’t be too hard on your partner and don’t complain too much. This surely isn’t an easy year for us, but so far it has been one of the most interesting, culturally diverse and enriching of my life!